Way To Live

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Christian Practices and Reflections from the students of St. Joan Antida

“I want a way to live that keeps me involved in what God is doing in me and in the world around me.

Do you know a way to live that is like that?”

(Way to Live, page 1)

Although they are profoundly Christian, and grow from a rich tradition of Christian Scripture and rituals, these “Christian practices” have also been used in interfaith communities. They can also be introduced as “spiritual” practices if you are providing programming in a public school environment and are limited in how directly you can refer to God or faith practices.

Along with the 18 Christian Practices listed below, you will find quotes from the book Way to Live, as well as reflections by one or two students from St. Joan Antida High School.

#1 The Story

Getting lost in the story: Did you ever get lost in a book? The world falls away. Time stops. You forget to eat. The characters are as real as your friends. You are totally at home in the world of the story…

(Way to Live, page 14)

The reason we have faith, the reason we continue to believe and practice our faith is because we can see our story in The Story. We can see our lives in the lives of the faithful believers who have lived before us, struggled in ways we struggle, who have sinned the way we might have sinned, and who have been forgiven the way might have forgiven or been forgiven. We can see our faith, hope and love in their faith, hope and love. Knowing The Story helps us continue to explore and live our own stories with confidence and humility.

St. Joan's Student I think that our faith is important because it teaches us things like who Jesus really is and how he died. Learning about the Ten Commandments and sins from the past help us understand how to live today in the present. (Student from St. Joan Antida)

#2 Bodies

Eating. Drinking. Driving. Smoking. Working out. Playing. They all matter. What we do with our “holy and awesome” bodies matters. It matters if we keep them safe or not. If we keep them clean or not. If we exercise to make them strong or not. If we damage them through neglect or nurture them with an apple a day and enough sleep. Our bodies have a lot of power. What we do with our bodies, how we treat them, who we share them with – all these actions shape who we will become in the future.

(Way to Live, page 38)

The media do not give us clear, healthy messages about our bodies; adults don’t always model the best behaviors for young people. Childhood obesity is a growing concern because TV and computer screens have more allure than exercise. Fast food and junk food are more convenient than healthy meals and snacks. “The ideal female body” is so impossible to achieve, that girls are more prone than ever to bulimia and anorexia. And TV and movies portray open sexuality as standard and expected.

St. Joan's Student If you don’t care about your own body, then it’s hard to care about those around you. I think that being healthy is very important. You body is one of your most important possessions, and you can’t disrespect that!

(Student from St. Joan Antida)

#3 Stuff

The truth is that a lot of stuff is bad for us and for the planet. Forests are decimated, wildlife made extinct, people overworked, families split apart – all because of stuff. Facing this truth is difficult. Although we know that lots of stuff is bad, there is also really cool stuff that would be fun to have, stuff that would make us feel good for a while. The truth is that stuff is seductive.

(Way to Live, page 58)

Materialism and greed is a real problem in our country. Because we think we need so much stuff, we go into massive credit card debt. We are a small percent of the world’s population that produces a large percentage of the waste and pollution. We have so much stuff, we can’t fit it in our houses, and we have to find other places to put our stuff – storage facilities are a booming business!

St. Joan's Student We worry too much about how we need the new “Jordans” or the new “Baby Phat” jacket. When there are many people all over the world who have nothing! Material things do not give us the right kind of happiness we need in life.

(Student from St. Joan Antida)

#4 Food

“With rights come responsibilities” is still true, especially with regard to food. My lunch may connect me to fields warm with son and rich with rain, to farmers, pickers, bakers, and vendors paid well and treated fairly, and to people around the world feasting on the same goodness. But it also connects me to gross injustice and abuse: land laden with pesticides, children laboring in fields, elders weak with hunger. The daily, necessary acts of eating and drinking bind us to both the beautiful and the broken.

(Way to Live, page 68)

It’s not only what we eat – and where the food comes from and how it got to me – but also when and how we eat. And with whom. It’s hard to imagine having a good friend we have never shared a meal with.

St. Joan's Student Eucharist is related to how we share our food. I think as teenagers, we have to learn to eat more moderately, and to share with those less fortunate than we are. Lent is an important time to learn to fast and to value food.

(Student from St. Joan Antida)

#5 Creation

I don’t know what to do about the big stuff. But I know how we can start with some of the little stuff.

Recycle. Take the time to put the can into the recycling bin. And complete the cycle – only buy things that come in recycled containers.
Save gas. Walk, ride a bike, rollerblade, whatever. But cut down on the gas.
Cut down on paper use. Use both sides of binder paper, photocopy back-to-back, and take a canvas bag to the store for carrying your groceries.
Get outside. Ask to have Sunday school, youth group, even workshop outdoors somewhere. And let people share their stories about being close to nature.
Be 60 Minutes. Choose one company to research how it treats the earth, then tell people the facts – like your friends, your parents, even your congressperson. Tell the press while you’re at it. And let the company know that you are telling the press. That ought to get some attention.

So five things. They don’t stop global warming, or fill in the hole in the ozone. But they are a start. Who knows? Maybe if everybody starts doing some of this little stuff, the big stuff will take care if itself.

(Way to Live, page 89)

We only have one planet. And there is no one else destroying it but us humans. It will take us humans to save it.

St. Joan's Student People might become closer to God if they look deep within their inner selves. Nature is part of this. For example, running over a squirrel or a raccoon really hurts my inner self because that’s a living creature. I think not caring about nature really does harm a person’s relationship with God. But a person has to want that inner spiritual relationship. It cannot be forced.

(Student from St. Joan Antida)

#6 Creativity

Creativity is connected with expressing our uniqueness, including our particular feelings and perspectives. Creativity also implies openness to the uniqueness of others and willingness to see how their particular gifts might contribute to a community. (Way to Live, pages 109-110)

Our class came up with a short list of possible outlets for creativity:

Writing (poetry, plays, articles, novels),
Music (instruments, singing)
Visual/texture arts (painting, drawing, wood block, leather carving, pottery, metal, stained glass, sculpture)
Fabrics and Textiles (batak, clothes design, banners, sewing, quilting, needlepoint, embroidery)
Living Space (interior decorating, architecture, human engineering, furniture design)
Plants (gardening, flower arrangements, herbs)
Drama/ dance (mime, theatre, film, comedy, improv, stepping, clogging, jazz, tap, ballet)
Computer Science (graphics, design, trouble shooting, simulations)
Other science (chemistry, physics, biology, anatomy, medicine, botany, zoology, psychology, sociology, anthropology, mental health, education, research)

Creativity is what makes humans more powerful than other beings. Creativity can be expressed in different ways. Teenagers, who are tomorrow’s leaders, need to learn how to use our creativity for a better world.

(Student from St. Joan Antida)

#7 Work

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word job? Are you consumed with negative thoughts? Many teenagers find their jobs to be tiring and boring. It’s easy to get in a rut, to feel negative internal and external forces. It is important not to settle for a job but to search for our work. Our work will have the characteristics that bring us happiness and fulfillment.

(Way to Live, page 111)

Whether you live to work, or you just work in order to live, you probably understand how work is necessary for life. Sometimes we must be content with work we do not cherish, because it pays the bills and allows us to do the things we do cherish. But sometimes we can find a way for our life work to be the joy of our lives.

Writer and minister Frederick Buechner once said that a person’s vocation can be found in the place where his or her deep gladness meets the world’s deep hunger. This is the place where we may find the work God is calling us to do – the work that will both satisfy us and benefit others. Finding this place is not always easy, however. You need to pay attention to yourself. Where is your deep gladness? You also need to pay attention to what is outside of yourself by coming face-to-face with the world’s deep hunger – for food, for healing, for beauty, for understanding, for shelter, and for so much else.

(Way to Live, pages 115-116)

#8 Play

We all need to keep playing – stretching our bodies, laughing when we feel clumsy, learning new games, finding new playmates. When we play, we open ourselves to new ways of seeing ourselves and who we are becoming.

(Way to Live, page 130)

Children used to play outside on the street, or in a park, until the sun came down or the streetlights came one. Unstructured, creative play has almost been replaced by team sports leagues for younger and younger children. If we add too many rules and regulations, it’s no longer play – it’s work! We need to find time and space in our life for real play, creative play, play that is fun!

It’s important to have fun in your lives because you never want to just be sad all the time! In order for you to balance things, you have to have a sense of humor so that you can look at things in a positive way. (Student from St. Joan Antida)

#9 Time

In this very busy world, many adults work as if they were slaves – some because of financial need, some because their employers don’t treat them fairly, and some because they are obsessed with work itself. Teens need to be aware of how a slave-labor mentality might develop in them during and after high school as well. And then, teens need to listen to this ancient word about freedom and accept the gift of Sabbath time – time to be rather than do; time to enjoy other people and creation; time for genuine, deep freedom. Sabbath is not just empty time. Sabbath time is restful and renewing because it reorients us to God. It is time full of God, and for that reason, a time of true freedom. Therefore, the Sabbath has been and continues to be a day of worship as well as a day of rest for the Jewish people.

(Way to Live, page 151)

Everything we do takes time. If we keep an hourly account of what we do with our time – even for one weekend and one weekday – we will probably be surprised. Time can be more precious than money. We need to recognize the ways we choose to spend our time.

I think that in order for us to use our time wisely, we need to learn to follow a schedule, and work on it little by little.

(Student from St. Joan Antida)

When we spend time with family and friends, we use our time well. We might want to do that as much as we can because we never know what will happen. It’s the truth, but we shouldn’t be scared, because tragedy will happen sooner or later in everyone’s life. That’s why we should say good-bye with a smile instead of saying it with anger, or not saying it all, because you never know… (Student from St. Joan Antida)

#10 Truth

Truth telling is a choice that teenagers face every day. People – teenagers especially – are sometimes dishonest because of pressure to succeed, fear of losing relationships, and overwhelming situations. Thankfully, through making confessions, surrounding yourself with people you can be your truthful self around, and taking careful risks, you can put your words, actions, and heart in sync with one another and begin to live truthfully, which in turn will bring you closer to everyone – including God.

(Way to Live, page 155)

In modern society, we are surrounded by lies and deception. We have witnessed deception in our government, and in our church – two places where we always expected honesty. If our highest authority figures can’t be trusted to be honest with us, how will we convince each other of the value of truth?

I think we should be more honest – completely honest. So the hatred in the world would stop, and life could be more peaceful. Every time someone lies, there comes another lie, and another… (Student from St. Joan Antida)

Christians see that telling the truth will help the world be more faithful. One of the ten commandments is a rule that people should obey, that is, “Thou shall not bear false witness.” If people would start telling the truth, there wouldn’t be any more lies or drama; there would be more peace and harmony. (Student from St. Joan Antida)

#11 Choices

Discernment is the Christian practice that teaches us to give careful attention to our own deepest selves and to God. This practice can help us to make wise decisions as complicated beings in a complicated world.

(Way to Live, page 171)

One of the most important life skills is the ability to forecast, to see the most probable results tomorrow from the choices we make today. If we have goals for our life, then we use our forecasting ability to judge how our different options might bring us closer to our goals or take us further away. The skill of forecasting can really help our ability to choose wisely.

If we don’t make good choices that are healthy, wise, or smart, then later in life, we will regret the bad choices we made.

(Student from St. Joan Antida)

#12 Friends

Being popular implies that a large number of people view you as someone they want to hang out with. Being a good friend means being loyal, not betraying confidences, and listening when someone is struggling with a problem. Some people are both, but usually being a really good friend suggests you put more of your time into fewer relationships. We all want to have good friends. But are we always ready to be a good friend? What if being a good friend to one person gets in the way of being popular with many others? Some people are so eager to be popular that they don’t stop to think about what friendship actually means.

(Way to Live, page 188)

A positive peer group is just as important as a skilled adult mentor when it comes to being transformed by what you learn. It’s too hard to apply life lessons when your friends don’t support the kind of values you are trying to stay loyal to. Selecting the right friends is like selecting the kind of person you want to be and continue to become.

Friends can help us in many ways. For example, when you want to give up on God, you may have a friend who encourages you to pray. Friends can give good advice at times when we make bad choices. Some friends are always smart about God; some have great faith.

(Student from St. Joan Antida)

Friends are the best things God can give us all. Without the help of friends, then being here would be a struggle without any support. (Student from St. Joan Antida)

#13 Welcome

Every person has to decide where to stand in this world. If you claim to follow Jesus, then you need to go where he said you can find him – among the people of need. How you respond today to the lonely or outcast student in your midst helps to shape the patterns and practices that will sever you when you get out into the world beyond high school. When you make welcoming others a part of daily life, you join a long tradition marked by bold risks and enormous joy.

(Way to Live, page 213)

Young people today live with the most diversity our country has ever seen. It is youth who can teach adults how to accept, welcome and celebrate differences as well as similarities among all people.

God welcomes all and so should everyone in the world. Just because we are different colors or races or genders, we are all humans and images of God. When someone is discriminated against, he or she may feel unloved or unwanted by everyone – not just by those who discriminate. Everyone in the world should be welcomed and loved because God wants us to love all of our neighbors.

(Student from St. Joan Antida)

#14 Forgiveness

Let’s say you go through life with a backpack like one you use at school. Each wrong you’ve experienced in your life adds a brick to your backpack. You can choose to carry those bricks your whole life – like a grudge. But it takes a heck of a lot of work to carry those bricks with you wherever you go. Imagine how hard and how tired you would be after a while.

(Way to Live, page 231)

Learning to forgive others is connected to learning to forgive yourself. If you are too stubborn or cold to forgive the wrong of others, then you will not be able to accept the forgiveness of someone else you have wronged.

St. Joan's Student Living with grudges is not healthy. You can avoid so much pain in life if you learn how to let go of things. Sometimes forgiveness lifts a big weight off your shoulders.

(Student from St. Joan Antida)

#15 Justice

Justice means acting in ways that promote human flourishing – especially for people who are poor, weak, and vulnerable.

(Way to Live, page 233)

Justice is all about the dignity of all people, the solidarity of all individuals and families, and the rights that everyone deserves – just because they are human beings.

We become more spiritual when we have respect for all people. Justice means ending world poverty, providing people with food, and helping the world cope. Justice means that all people care about ending the problems of the world. (Student from St. Joan Antida)

Justice can feel like a burden. It’s my life, my passion, my direction… but sometimes it feels like such hard work. I can only work for justice when I’ve got a community with me. And even then, it helps to know that our little community doesn’t have to do it all, because there are others around the world.

(Way to Live, page 244)

#16 Grieving

Experiencing grief over the storms of personal loss is natural. But giving yourself the time and space to grieve fully is hard, especially in our society where everyone is so busy and so eager to “fix” tings quickly. Even well-meaning friends will tell you, “Hurry up and get over it already!” or with a sympathetic tone of voice, “You know, all the tears in the world won’t bring him back. So dry your eyes and get on with your life.” Sometimes the storm clouds are so dark and menacing that professional therapy, including a responsible use of medication, is necessary.

(Way to Live, page 250)

Everyone grieves differently. Some never cry, some punch pillows, some exercise long and hard until they are so exhausted, they can finally sleep. Some cry a lot. Some like to talk, some are reluctant to talk. Always there is great pain, profound pain, deep pain.

The way I talk to God is by asking questions. It’s not always easy because you don’t know an answer right away. But the more you think about your question, the better it gets answered. Like they always say, “things happen for a reason.” The more I talk and ask questions, the more I start to understand things and get the answers. (Student from St. Joan Antida)

Jews and Christians have a practice that provides “therapy” when the storm clouds roll in and we’re grieving loss beyond repair. This practice is called lament. To lament means to express sorrow or to mourn out loud. The practice of lament gives you time and permission to vent your pent-up anger, your deep sadness, and your self-blame. You allow yourself to grieve in a way that leads to healing and renewal. As you pour out your fried, loss, pain and anger in the presence of God, you discover that God hears your cries of anguish and comforts you. While you can’t remove the storms, quiet the thunder, or stop the lightning from striking, you can trust your tears to be the raindrops that release the clouds, allowing rays of sunlight to shine through. Before catching a glimpse of the rainbow, though, you have to brace yourself for the raging from within.

(Way to Live, page 251)

#17 Music

Music isn’t some shrink-wrapped product you by at the store. Music is a human thing, a body thing, and a spirit thing. You don’t have to play a musical instrument to join in the practice of making music. Simply listening to music or singing along with your friends is a way of sounding your life. Music is an incredible universal language, truly a gift from God. Sometimes when I’m moving to music, it’s as if time stands still. I’m so focused, so caught in the moment that the stresses of life and school just seem to disappear. I literally feel one with the universe.

(Way to Live, page 261)

If you can’t carry a tune, you can carry an ipod. If you can’t play an instrument, you can still play the radio. You can hear music in your mind, even when the world is not listening.

If the world didn’t have music, I think some people wouldn’t be able to escape their troubles. When you listen to music, it helps you calm down from any problems. Also, when you’re at church, you sing to praise God. So without music, the world would just not be the same. (Student from St. Joan Antida)

Music is a way of experiencing ourselves. It is also a way of letting others get to know you. Sometimes when I pray, I play music to get me into the mood of the prayer. Sometimes, I even starting singing with the music. (Student from St. Joan Antida)

#18 Prayer

Athiest, Buddhist, Hindu, agnostic, Christian, Muslim: all or none of the above – everybody prays. Walk inside a classroom on the first day of finals and you’ll see kids taking out pencils, looking up and saying, “Please let me pass this test.” Walk down the maternity ward at the local hospital and you’ll find parents rocking their babies, whispering, “Thank you, thank you.” The five-year-old lying on her back in the grass staring at the clouds, the junior high boy writing in his journal at 2:00 AM, the college buddies singing around the beach bonfire, the single father passing out coffee to the homeless men – they’re all praying. Prayer isn’t reserved for churchgoers, devout people, ministers and monks. Prayer isn’t limited to words, churches or religious objects. Prayer is a relationship that everyone has with the mysterious Power of Life. Prayer is a basic human activity.

(Way to Live, page 276)

So many different ways we can pray! So many ancient traditions of prayer we can learn, so many modern methods we can invent. With music, like singing hymns or playing an instrument or chanting. With movement like praise dance or walking the labyrinth. With meditation and repetition, like the rosary or litany or the Stations of the Cross. With Scripture, like Lectio Divina. With silence. It’s our human connection with the spiritual.

It is very good to pray. Everyone needs to know how. You can pray whenever and where you need. Everyone needs to learn to pray for not only themselves but others. (Student from St. Joan Antida)

Click here to read the reflections of St. Joan Students regarding the lessons of Rising Stars.

Dr. Calderone-Stewart has authored 20 books and more than 50 articles.
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