Hope Is Something You Do

What is this workshop all about?

We are the House of Peace Teen Leaders, a group of high school students, who present our workshop, “Hope is Something You Do,” twice a year to middle school students and/or families.

We come to training meetings every month to prepare for these two presentations, where we learn leadership skills, communication skills, and most importantly, the skills of peaceful conflict resolution.

When the participants first arrive, they are greeted warmly and given nametags made out of playing cards. That way, we are easily able to create small groups – by dividing the participants in half (black and red), in quarters (clubs, diamonds, hearts and spades) and even into partners (same number, or opposite color).

They are invited to eat a snack, to fill out a pre-workshop survey, and to engage in a few icebreakers. The team and participants learn each others’ names, teach a few communication skills, and begin the serious business of “setting up” the group to experience a few conflicts – so they can explore the stuff of conflict more deeply – the causes, the types, and the ways to respond.

Then we present an opening skit that takes place within a family – two parents, and three kids – and each member of the family reacts in a different way. Eventually, we teach our audience that there are five basic ways to respond in a conflict:

● Act and talk like a monster – a bully with intimidating words and actions;

● Act and talk like a wimp – avoiding conflict and denying your own needs;

● Talk like a monster, act like a wimp – all talk, no action; whine and complain, but never follow through with any plan for improvement or accountability;

● Talk like a wimp, act like a monster – passive aggressive; behave politely to someone’s face, but try to sabotage their efforts behind their back;

● True Me – confident, honest and fair; using careful talking and listening so that the conflict can be resolved and all needs can be met.

The teaching of these five responses is done with active learning. The participants walk around the room to the different corners, standing by the person they think is most responsible for the conflict, or the style they think they usually use in a conflict.

They also get to role play the different styles themselves, having fun, but also learning how to use the skills of the True Me:

● Careful talking

● Careful listening

● Getting to Win-win

We take one basic conflict and act out how the same people using different styles will get different results, but they will never resolve the conflict fairly until one of them, both of them or an outsider steps in to use the “True Me” skills.

We show them different scenarios of children fighting over one toy, a teddy bear. We ask them to guess what type of conflict each skit shows, and then we ask them to generate examples of that same type of conflict in sports or games (where conflict/competition is necessary) and in real life (where conflict/competition can be resolved).

● Within one person

● Between two people

● Between two groups

● Within one group

For example, two children fighting over a teddy bear is a conflict between two people. So is a game of chess, or two roommates trying to decide how to decorate their apartment.  One child deciding what to play with is a conflict within one person. So is playing solitaire or deciding what college to attend.

More skits demonstrate the three main causes of conflict. We get them to generate all kinds of conflicts, and then we select a few of them for a “voting” activity. With red, black and white cards, we have them give their ideas on whether the conflicts we present are indeed caused by:

               ● Physical needs and resources

               ● Psychological needs and luxuries

               ● Values and convictions

Finally, we give them the “final exam” of the workshop. We divide them into two countries at war and tell them they are the elders of both countries, trying to negotiate a fair peace. We tell each country the horrific things done by their enemies. We ask them what type of conflict it is, what is causing it, and what style of response their country is using. We ask them to use the True Me skills to end the war and begin reparations.

Sometimes, they run out of time before they actually arrive at peace; sometimes they come up with fair terms and agree on how to restore order and normalize relations.  Always they realize the strong ways that our own personal conflicts are connected to the fighting between and within countries. Most importantly, they learn about hope – and that hope is something they can do.

Our closing prayer involves a gospel drama that highlights four stories about Jesus, showing how he always responded to conflict as a “True Me” peacemaker. We pray for each other, that we will always respond with peace instead of violence, and end with a simple blessing.

Not only do the Teen Leaders get to teach peace, but we spend our year learning about peace, too. We use these same skills all year, as we negotiate the small conflicts that pop up within our own small group. We become closer to each other as a team of friends and peacemakers, struggling to find a better way to live.

We invite you to join us for one of our workshops. We promise you – you will not be bored, you will learn, and you will have fun. Most of all, you will realize two things:

● Blessed are the peacemakers  

● Hope is something you do.