Hope is Something You Do...

A Win-Win Proposition

(Pictures from the January 2010 Workshop with

St. William's Parish of Waukesha)

When the Teen Leaders from House of Peace teach peaceful conflict resolution skills to their middle school audience, with their workshop called, “Hope Is Something You Do,” it’s a win-win proposition.

First of all, the middle school students learn the skills of peaceful conflict resolution, and they get to see these skills in action as they observe how the Teen Leaders operate as a team. That’s a big win.

The Teen Leaders themselves, students from several Milwaukee high schools, gain the experience of learning presentation skills, communication skills, group dynamics, community building, and problem solving methods… by preparing for the workshop, running the practice sessions, and using the skills they teach in their own monthly meetings. That’s also a big win.

So the presenters win by teaching, and the audience wins by learning.

That makes “Hope Is Something You Do” a win-win proposition.

But ask anyone about the content of the workshop – and they will tell you it’s all about win-win.  It’s all about finding ways to resolve a conflict so that both parties can meet their needs. The ONE goal of conflict resolution is always to achieve win-win.

To quote their teaching, “Win-win is when what you want doesn’t get in the way of what I want… and what I want doesn’t get in the way of what you want.”

Win-win is just ONE of the concepts taught … there are five in all.

The Teen Leaders also teach the FIVE personal styles people have when they respond to conflict...

Meaning (1) they can talk and act like a monster, (2) talk and act like a wimp, (3) talk like a monster yet act like a wimp, or (4) talk like a wimp and act like a monster. They can also (5) talk and act like the “True Me,” being confident, honest and fair. The only personal style that can resolve conflicts peacefully is the True Me.

At Hope Is Something You Do, the participants explore the FOUR types of conflict…

These are conflicts (1) within one person, (2) between two people, (3) within a group, and (4) between two groups. Knowing exactly what type of conflict you are dealing with always helps you figure out how to resolve it peacefully.

The participants who come to our workshop also learn about the THREE main causes for conflict….

When people find themselves in a conflict, they are usually dealing with competing (1) physical needs and resources, (2) personal preferences or (3) values and convictions. When you realize you are in a conflict over values and convictions, it’s best to reframe it as a conflict over physical needs and resources whenever possible. At our workshop, they learn how.

Finally, Hope Is Something You Do teaches TWO communication skills needed to negotiate your way through conflicts… (1) Talking Carefully – by using “I statements” and (2) Listening Carefully – by using summarizing.

When more people attend Hope Is Something You Do, then more people learn:

Five styles

Four types

Three causes

Two skills

One goal – And that’s a win-win situation all around!

Why don’t YOU consider coming to the next presentation of Hope is Something You Do?